


If Only For a Moment

by ClarkeGriffinTitties



Series: Tumblr Prompts [6]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s05e13 Damocles Part 2, Season/Series 06, Survivor Guilt, Unrequited Love, so she thinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarkeGriffinTitties/pseuds/ClarkeGriffinTitties
Summary: tumblr headcanon: "okay so it’s one of THOSE nights where I’m very emotional about bellarke and I just need in literally any capacity for one of them to ask the other to stay. they’ve left and walked away from each other so many times, the universe always pulling them apart, i just need one simple little “stay.” ITS ALL I WANT."





	If Only For a Moment

God, how did everything go so wrong? One second, she was content. It was just her, Madi, and that stupid radio holding her memories of Bellamy afloat. Within the blink of an eye, all that she had fought for, the home she had built, and the peace she had acquired vanished quietly, yet chaotically, into the night. 

It was too much to take in, too much to process. Monty and Harper had stayed behind to keep watch of Earth. If only they had known it was never coming back; if only they had known it’d take them too long to crack the Eligius III file. And now, they were gone. Dead. This was the final straw. They really screwed it up this time. _She_ screwed it up. It was her fault. After all, if she had just killed McCreary when she had the chance, none of this would have happened. Her hesitation led to the end of the world, again, and the death of two of her closest friends. They were never coming back and that was thanks to her. Now, their dying wish was to throw her back into a position of power, placing their child’s future in the palm of her hands. Well, not just hers, Bellamy’s too. 

Oh, Bellamy. They used to understand exactly what the other was thinking with just one look. One glance, one touch, one word, and they were taking on the world, shoulder to shoulder. She couldn’t have made it through all of those days without him. From the moment she set foot on the ground, she was alone. That was, until her and Bellamy decided to lead alongside each other. Everything made sense. They were their most rational selves when together. Over the months, something changed between them. Hell if she knew at the time, but now, it was all so obvious. How ignorant had she been to push those feelings away, to reason that there wasn’t time for such niceties. She would give anything to go back and risk it all for the sweet release of those three words on her lips. 

However, the world was a cruel place; now more than ever. It wanted to tear them apart. Six years ago she would have said the universe had a way of bringing them together despite all forces. Fast forward 131 years and they were more like strangers than the partners they had grown so used to being. Since Bellamy's return to the ground, they only drifted further apart. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. She had imagined every possible scenario, and this was not one of them. They were supposed to finally have the chance to be one, breathing life into one another with every beat of their hearts, not on opposite sides of the ocean, playing a game of tug of war with the tide. 

She can’t blame him; she knows this. But in times like these, after everything Jordan just dumped on her, she can’t help but feel the resent rattle through her bones, sneaking into the darkest corners of her mind. So instead, she sits, off in a secluded corner of the ship, lost in her own pity. 

She has numbed herself enough over the years that the tears no longer fall, rather awaiting their final judgement behind the curtains of her eyes. She is leaning against a barren wall, marveled that her fingers who, in the past, would have itched to dance across the cement with a piece of charcoal, are now seeking a much more physical relief found in the impact of naked knuckles against still walls.

Her shoulders tense at the sound of incoming footsteps, already knowing who it is with the weight of his gate. She thought that over the six years she’d forget his every detail, but she was foolishly mistaken. Those same memories preyed upon her vulnerable state each day that passed. 

He walks into the room, suspecting it to be vacant. Clarke remains silent, watching the way his body contorts into one of a small, fearful boy. Both of his hands lift to thread into his damp curls, still just barely chilled from the frozen chamber he had slept in. His face twists into one of agony, then disbelief, before finally settling into anger. He crouches down, running sweaty palms over his tired face, lifting his eyes to greet Clarke’s. They stay there for a tentative moment, captive.

“Shit,” he jumps up once the trance breaks. “Uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to barge in on you there.”

Clarke doesn’t say anything, just holds his gaze. She always knew she’d meet him again, whether it be in another lifetime or in her dreams, but not like this; not here. He came thundering down from the sky, her crystallized wish. Now, they had returned to the cursed clouds through failure alone, and were expected to sink back into the rhythm they had long lost. 

When Clarke doesn’t respond, Bellamy turns to leave. “I’m just going to…” he points his finger in the direction of the door, holding her stare for a beat longer, contemplating, then shakes his head in defeat. 

But maybe she could still hope, if only for a moment. 

“Wait, Bellamy,” He looks back at her, and for a brief second, she could have sworn she saw a glimmer of something she couldn’t quite place in him. “Stay.” She tries to sound less broken than she actually is. It doesn't work. 

Bellamy’s entire form relaxes, along with a staggered breath. With a tight-lipped smile, he walks over to her. 

Clarke feels like a trapped rabbit, Bellamy, the predator, just out of reach as he closes the distance between them. What was it about him that made her feel so scared, so little? Or was it herself that she was terrified of, the possibility of slipping into unwarranted territory with him?

He lowers himself next to her, close enough that their shoulders are touching. He nudges his arm against hers, almost playfully.

“Hey, we can do this.” he whispers, his eyes searching hers for a response; anything. 

The combination of the heat radiating between them and his voice so close, just like how it used to be in her nightmares, is too much to bear. 

Clarke could usually keep her composure around others, but for some reason, a reason she now understands, with Bellamy, even her best attempts would fail. After all this time, he still knew when she was faking it. 

As her sobs take over, as she lets the grief wash away her impurities, Bellamy wraps his arm around her for the second time that day. Clarke leans into his touch, this time turning into him, allowing herself to truly be held for the first time in who knows how long, nestling her own arm around his torso. 

The minutes wear on. She knew her tears must be soaking through Bellamy’s shirt, so she tries to unfold herself from his embrace, but instead, he only brings a hand to her hair, keeping her still. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Clarke,” he soothes with his lips pressed to the top of her head. “I know.”

She sinks into him, melting against him and hoping it will be enough to disappear. The world was trying to separate them, tear the bonds they held to each other, and reasonably so. They didn’t belong to each other; not really. He found a home somewhere else along the way while she was still searching in him for one for six years. She couldn’t anymore. It wasn’t right and she had to live with that; accept it. 

They may not have eternity as she had hoped, but they still have this one, fleeting escape of reality that she will hold onto until her lungs are weak, helplessly searching for that final goodnight’s kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> I love all headcanons whether they be fluffy, angsty, smutty, etc. You name it and I'll love it, so feel free to send me some on tumblr! 
> 
> Also feedback is pretty cool so if you are feeling so inclined, I'm happy to hear what you think.


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